When life hands you lemons...

Cant Fight It.

“You can try to resist, 

try to hide from my kiss, 

but you know that you,

can’t fight the moonlight.

Deep in the dark,

you’ll surrender your heart,

but you know that you

can’t fight the moonlight.

No, you can’t fight it,

It’s gonna get to your heart.”

Lessons learned. Bridges burned.

She was independent, strong, and fierce. 

When things started going downhill in her life, she made a radical decision to break off the four year relationship they had. Very few people around her knew of it and nobody knew the full story. She had no idea why either, it was just a spur of the moment decision which lead to some aspects of her life coming together as well as others falling apart.

After the falling out, their presence around each other became too poisonous to handle and others around soon noticed. She kept secrets from him, she broke him down with emotional and mental games when he was not over her. Yet, they still spent time together while seeing other people. 

The poison became too much for her to bear and she finally decided to burn all bridges which connected with him. She eventually began to find herself and made new friends as well as reconnecting with old ones. New good habits were formed, as well as bad ones. She became reckless by turning to what ever remedy was available to her at the time. Every other morning was greeted by a hang over, every weekend morning was greeted with someone else sleeping next to her. She occasionally thought about him but constantly reminded herself that it was for the best.

The weekends became her escape from school during the week. Life became worth living. New friendships were formed in a way she could not imagine. Some changed her life from that moment on, others were just a flicker in the dark. Sparks were ignited with one, which turned into a small flame, but died out quickly. She maintained her integrity through it all but lost a very small part of herself when she was burned by those flames.

Those near her became worried about this reckless behavior ever since she became free. 

After seeing photos and hearing about her, he missed her then decided to contact her after months of not seeing each other. The contact could not have come at a better time for her. 

A week after the contact, they decided to come face to face again. There was tension between them and when the tension broke loose, the passion which was believed to have died was reignited. She was vulnerable, and to see him again was like seeing him for the first time. Kissing him was like the first time. It was as if nothing bad had ever happened between them. They kept their relationship a secret from everyone around them for a while.

This felt like a new relationship to her. It seemed like what ever happened in the past did not matter in their present. For the first time in a while, she became complete. As time went on, she began to fall for him all over again. It appears that he feels the same way, constantly communicating, enjoying a night in, ditching some friends to be with her some nights. She was as happy as can be. Or so it appeared… 

But she refused to admit how she truly felt and how bad she had it for him. Until the end of the semester came around.

After the semester ended, she became an emotional wreck from school. He stayed with her one of those nights bringing her a movie and dinner. That night, she broke down and revealed how she had been feeling and how she had fallen for him again. She was even more crushed when he revealed that he did not feel the same way but was content with the physical relationship they were having. He also said that she was an important part in his life and never wanted to lose her, yet doesn’t want to be back in a relationship with her because they did not work the first time. This had crushed her even more. Finally, something to really believe in, and it crumbled right in front of her.

The winter vacation was agonizing. It was then more than ever she began to receive “good morning” and “I miss you” text messages from him. The friends she confided in about this mess kept telling her to forget about him and he’s just trying to have his cake and eat it too. 

She still hasn’t fully learned her lesson. Whenever he messages her, she messages back. He only will hang out with her when it’s convenient for him and he believes that they could be just friends. I

She believes differently. The tables have turned and these bridges are about to be burned once again. She hasn’t fully learned her lesson just yet. She still cries and thinks about him when he’s probably not even thinking about her in the same way.